Aleksej, it’s really bold that you have finally let go of any pretense at being both Russian and Latvian. I’m not sorry if I upset you if it helped you face the truth. I encouraged you previously to come out of your Russian closet and openly declare your national preference. I sensed it was tough faking affection for the opposite nationality. You were always ready to blurt out something to make your real feelings known, like about the decreased desire to feel close to Latvia simply because of something I said. You just can’t fake who you are. I’m sure it’s a disappointment to your Latvian side that you won’t have Latvian babies and will not carry on the Latvian culture, tradition, and language, but in time they’ll get over it or forget that it ever was important when they see how happy you are to no longer have to bear the burden of a Latvieshu identity you don’t want, don’t like, don’t know much about.
About your generations of ancestors living in Latvia - do you mean the Russian or Latvian or both? You confuse me since I still think of you as bi-national. My ancestors also have lived in Latvia for generations. I wonder if our ancestors were neighbors and maybe we’re cousins? Seems a shame that you find it so impossible to be bi and your identity after all those generations of Latvians (?) in Latvia isn’t Latvian. I hope in your new bi-liberation you don’t blurt out something hurtful like Latvia has always been Russia and still should be Russia.
About your statement: “...regardless of what I will do, this will always be a country where the titular nation takes the priority of this government and I – or at least the Russian me – will always feel like a guest, as if I don’t belong here.
I bet no new immigrant no matter whence he came feels the same way when they naturalize in the United States.”
I don’t understand why you just haven’t asked any of us plentiful LOL Latvian immigrants in the U.S. to answer that question. I can tell you myself, being an immigrant, that Americans, the titular people, take the priority of the U.S. govt. All of us Latvians, Lithuanians, Estonians, Chinese, Japanese, Ethiopians, Nigerians, Vietnamese, Russians, etc., get to call ourselves Americans when we become citizens. It’s not regardless of what we do that we feel merely like disenfranchised guests, but only if we don’t apply for citizenship, don’t learn the language, don’t study the history and culture, don’t pass the citizenship test, and don’t pledge loyalty to our country, America.
